How Not To Get Dressed

This post is going to be a little different because I had an experience last week that I wanted to share. It’s a cautionary tale about how not to get dressed.

Last week, my husband and I went to a summer ball at the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York City. I go to a lot of events, but it’s very rare that I go to a black tie event. I was so excited, and I wanted to look perfect. It was 91 degrees and about 80% humidity, so I decided to get a blow out. While I was waiting for a stylist, I found a picture of a textured lob (long bob) that I loved. It looked something like this:

How Not To Get Dressed

Apparently, that look requires a curling iron and costs more than a normal blow out. By that time though, I was determined to have my textured lob. There was no turning back. When it was done, It looked nothing like it should have, but the stylist assured me that once I got outside in the heat, it would curl more. I was skeptical, but I had to go home and get dressed. I paid the (gulp) $75 for the hairstyle that looked nothing like I wanted it to and left. Of course, when I got outside, my hair did not curl more, so the second I got home I plugged in my own curling iron to try to fix it.

While it warmed up, I found an instant self tanner in the back of the bathroom cabinet and smeared it all over my arms, chest and back. And it made my skin a nice golden color. Yay! But when I tried to wash it off my palms, it wouldn’t budge. Noooo! Nothing would get this stuff off my palms! I tried in no particular order: ajax, nail polish remover, ammonia, hydrogen peroxide, soap, acne face wash and scrubbing with a toothbrush. I had to face the fact that my palms were going to stay an unnatural, dark brown for the rest of the evening (clearly I won’t be doing a post about THAT self tanner!).

By that time, my curling iron was warm and in my rush to fix my hair, I grabbed the wrong end and burned my fingers. AAARRRGGGHHHH! I managed some quick ice therapy before I grabbed the right end of the curling iron and fixed my hair.

Next up was getting dressed, which went without a hitch, and makeup. I layered on my eye makeup and mascara and I was happy with the outcome…until I realized I had something in my eye. I couldn’t get it out and my eye started tearing. And, it was time to go. My eye teared for another couple hours until almost all my eye makeup on that side was washed off and I looked a bit like the guy from the movie A Clockwork Orange. Luckily, I brought eyeliner with me to even myself out.

How Not To Get Dressed

Once Alec and I were in the cab, I had to laugh at myself because the whole process had been so ridiculous. I relaxed after that and had an amazing time in an incredible setting. We had cocktails and appetizers in the armor room and dinner in the sculpture garden. It was a fabulous night, all things considered.

You are probably wondering by now why the heck I’m telling you this very long and maybe (but hopefully not) boring story. Rather than stressing about looking perfect (which is impossible anyway), I should have focused on how lucky I was to be going to such an event. I should have been dancing around listening to music and having fun while I was getting ready instead of going crazy with the hair and the makeup and the skin. If I had been more relaxed about the whole thing, I probably wouldn’t have ended up with burned fingers, fake tan palms, uneven eye makeup and out $75 for a hair style I didn’t really like!

So the next time you go to a fancy schmancy party, make the ritual of getting ready as enjoyable as the party will be. Don’t try to look so different that you lose yourself, and don’t take yourself too seriously. And if there are screw ups along the way, remember that there are much worse things in life than limp hair, tan palms and slightly burned fingers:-)

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8 thoughts on “How Not To Get Dressed

  1. LOL! Your post reminds me of Margret Trudeau’s first book, I read It many years ago. The only thing I remember about it is when she was getting ready for her first official state dinner in France, she had her naturally curly hair straightened in to a bob, hated it, and had no time to change it. Not sure why that stuck, even now all these years later, that’s what I remember.
    Anyway, very much enjoyed your post. You look absolutely gorgeous in your photo. Love those shoes!

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